Blog

Nearly every Sunday I sort of have to go to church. (That’s another story.)

When I’m asked to do something on a Sunday night, and I reply that I have to be at church most Sunday nights to be a youth group advisor, folks often do a double take. Or a slight flinch. Church? You? I then explain I’m talking about the notorious Unitarian-Universalist Church—the one so liberal it got bad press 25ish years ago for having an overly explicit sex-ed class for teens. The one that’s attended by everyone from Catholics to mixed-faith families, to pagans, to atheists.

I feel I have to explain to some it’s not an evangelist church or a non-science-loving church. But lately I’m thinking of adding to that a suggestion that they might also attend church.

It indeed might mean missing whatever you do on Sunday mornings. In my previous city, I told people I attended “church of coffee shop,” because I went to the local cafe on Sunday mornings. Back then, a fun, age-diverse coffee klatsch scene met at the local cafe, but that’s not the case in my current city. Or I’d say I went to “church of farm,” because I’d ride my bike 12 miles to my friend’s coastal farm to do yoga in her barn loft and then plant seedlings. But I could have done that later in the day. Anything but go to church, which was a short walk up the street and ministered by my very own domestic partner. After all, that meant dressing presentably, sitting for an hour, singing hymns badly, then attempting to be charming at coffee hour.

But now it’s all so different. I’m at the church early to teach “eco-justice” class to middle-schoolers at Sunday school. Then I might stay to sing with the 2 pm singing meetup (Harmonic Circle) and then later serve as a youth group advisor at 6:30 pm. It’s all-day all church.

So I’m a convert in this sense: I get church now. It’s not about religion; it’s a community of people who care for each other.

In fact, in this age of diminishing church attendance, I’m thinking church is more relevant than ever.

Many folks might cringe at the thought of spending their sunny Sunday morning at an institution they associate with irrational belief or molested altar boys or fire and brimstone.

But I posit that church is, as UU minister Dan Harper once told me “mostly just a community of people taking care of each other.”

So:
Here are 7 or so reasons church is more relevant than ever:

1. It’s an antidote to today’s diminishing sense of community and growing isolation. (Get community.)
It took me years to see that, as Rev. Dan Harper says, church isn’t all doctrine and dogma. It’s a group of people choosing to come together in community.

2. It can reverse our society’s diminishing institutional savvy. (Learn how to be part of formal institutions and nonprofits to make things happen.)
Fewer and fewer people know how to run a committee. Or understand parliamentary process. Or how to organize a fundraising campaign. Or how to lead a group activity or campaign or rite or pie fundraiser. You can learn this as part of a committee or board or small group at many churches.

3. It counters our narrowing personal networks of influence. (Broaden your circle of acquaintances and associate with a larger power base.)
Affiliate with a church and you have a potential place for concerts, talks, action groups. You can attempt to start a campaign. Carpool to a demonstration or a vigil. At my current church, one member is a super-promoter of electric cars. As a result, we have car chargers, a solar canopy covering the parking lot, and even more members with EVs.

4. In a time of less ceremony, ritual, solemnity, and transcendence (aka “spirituality”) in modern life, churches offer rituals, celebrations, and rites of passage.
I used to scoff at the ornate churches, the incense, robed monks, the choirs (OK, I didn’t actually “scoff”), but I feel like something would be lost if all of that was gone. I still miss the Franciscan monk in blue course robe and sandals I’d see at Staples in my previous city. And that something is just a regular pause to create a “sacred space” or altar or candles, music. Church can give us a chance to create a space of beauty. I like the baby dedications at church, the bridging ceremonies (when they happen), the water communion, the memorial services, the Christmas Eve services. Yes, I totally agree we can do this elsewhere and in other ways.

And some more specific reasons:

5. Live music.
Churches have choirs and often a staff organist and visiting soloists. And choirs. How many famous singers and musicians report they started their singing in their church choirs growing up?

6. Boosts emotional intelligence.
Ideally, anyway. At church, you’re going to see folks ask each other how they’re doing. You’ll hear “joys and concerns” in church service, perhaps. You’ll read or hear about who’s had a baby or an operation. Who is dying. Who is celebrating a milestone. It’s good to remember the spectrum of human experience and how to interact with it and support each other through it all.

7. Meet potential friends and mates.
My dad met his current wife at church. My coauthor met his current wife at church. I’m seeing a pattern.

And a few just to flesh this out:

8. Free coffee.

9. Pheromones.
I kind of believe this. Humans exude pheromones and biological auras. It’s a topic for another blog post.

10. It looks like I’m not going to make it to a full 10 reasons. Feel free to add more in the comments.

OK, what church to go to? Research websites, find out when services are. Dress at least business casual, even if you don’t really have to. Give it at least a couple tries. Or three or four.

Let me know how it goes!